Archive for the 'Cool Stuff' Category

Staying True to U

How often do we say or hear some version of “I gotta be me”, “I need to rediscover the real me”, or “That’s just not me”. When we say or hear these phrases, I always wonder, have you actually taken the time to learn who you are truly? The answer is typically an emphatic no. So how can we be true ourselves, when we don’t know who we are really?

We create so many layers of stories about   ourselves and define ourselves by memories that may or may not be accurate. If this is the self we are being true toward, we might as well remove the word true or truth from our statement. Seriously, there is no honesty in sticking to a version of oneself that has not been intentionally/purposefully tested and defined. Without the hard internal work of learning and creating who we are and who we want to be, you are not “yourself”. What we do is double down on the stories we’ve created for and about ourselves. Stories so powerful without them we are lost.

For those who truly wish to know oneself, the path is arduous and winding. Yet, there is no greater joy than being free to be the you that is happy and doing the work you are best suited for in this stay on Earth. 

If you want to walk this path, there are many pieces of advise available. I will share with you my thoughts (from my experiences) on how to start; since starting is always the hardest and most frightening stage.

First and foremost, starting in and of itself is scary, however the real battle is in completing and moving through the initial stage. This stage requires us to identify who we think we are at that moment in our lives. You will need to lay bare all stories you tell yourself, and all the ways you view and interact with the world. I know, I hear you right now, Fuck That Shit. 

Here’s the good news, you don’t do this overnight and you definitely don’t do this alone. This is a process that requires support, input, conversation and multiple iterations. The goal isn’t to emotionally destroy or torture oneself. Its to clearly define where you are in life and how you define this. Once you know these “facts”, you can test these “truths” and see how they line up with step 2, defining who you want to be or wish you could become. 

Good luck, be strong and I hope you develop into a U that you can stay true to. 

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Moment by Moment

Today I was the quintessential human. I had an extremely long drive (40 miles) for what can essentially be looked at as physical therapy. When I got there, the directions from online were not exactly correct. After I sat for 15 minutes past when my appointment was, another person who arrived later was called. I asked the receptionist how far behind we were, because I still needed to make it to another doctors appointment. She admitted that she had forgotten about me and then let me into a room.

I admit to being fairly frustrated, bordering on angry. Recognizing that my response was not the most productive, and was probably based on my long drive and getting lost, I proceeded to meditate. Five minutes later when I was seen by the professional, he asked if I was doing OK. After I had explained the situation, he asked if I wanted to postpone the appointment. I replied no I was pretty much over it and we could move on.

At the end of the appointment, he commented how well I had overcome my frustration and how well I was doing with my exercises. I pointed out that I needed to be in control of my reactions, because I had no control over her behavior. He said that mindset is perfect for what you’re going through and I hope you can keep at it.

This made me think of how as a human being it is so important to be in the moment. By not being in the moment I allowed my frustrations to boil over and did not control one of the few things I can, how I react to other people. However, my recognizing that it was a new moment and taking the time to meditate and clear my mind, I was able to move past my reaction and make my physical therapy appointment the most efficient and productive possible.

I am not sure if this is what the Buddhist’s mean by living in the moment, but it seems like a very good example of how being aware of each moment and not allowing to previous moments to dictate our reactions is pretty important to happiness and satisfaction.

BiNaration

I know it’s a little behind schedule but I just finished reading Outliers and years of responses to it; as well as many articles   proving/disproving some of the ideas within. I was most struck not by the book or the ideas (which I did enjoy and liked) but by the standard American response. Instead of discussing the nuance of the ideas, we either jumped on board or firmly denied with little or no middle ground.

There were no fewer than five really thoughtful ideas on why people are succesful, yet we seem intent on the 10,000 hour idea. So much so that there is a whole industry now around 10,000 hours and all else in the book might as well not exist! What about the idea that Harvard should just do a lottery of their applicants (which by the way would be fair becuase it would remove the inherent bias in the admission process)? Or the idea that being lucky enough to be born in a specific month or year are key contributors to success?

Instead most Americans became fixated on a binary approach to an extremely complicated question. An approach by the way that the book clearly says won’t work by itself!!! 

Why is it that Americans so often respond with the emotional maturity of a 14 year old to these pressing societal issues? Why are we so intent on quick fixes or something having to be 100% correct or incorrect? Hasn’t life kicked each of our individual asses enough times to know this is rarely true?

I didn’t wrote this post today to tell everyone why we are a BiNaration. I wrote it so next time you became engaged in a new process or idea, you stop and think before you fall into this all in or all against mentality. 

Cheers and Rock On

Cool Science for Tax Weekend

Had to repost this from computer. Apparently app needed an update and was acting all crazy and self-publishing!

Computers can help us with more than taxes and porn.  Brain implant helps quadriplegic  use hands again.

Have we found Akhenaten or Nefertiti?

A step forward in Robo Bod-Mod!

Sphere packing Math Problem solved after hundreds of Years

LSD gives you the mind of a baby! One just hopes not permanently, as I don’t want to forget how to talk. 😉

Dread Pirate Dating

Good night Wesley. Good Dating. I’ll most likely break up with you in the morning

Does dating ever feel like this for you? Are you constantly worrying what happens next and seeking “consistency”? Do you tend to settle on a person that may not be a good long term fit to avoid the Dread Pirate Dating?

As I’ve re-entered the dating scene I have noticed several very common tropes related to this idea. Folks on dates the same night they been broken up with or broke up with someone. People who are dating horrible matches just to “have” someone. Friends who are constantly hiding bits of themselves, because they’re afraid to be broken up with over trivial  matters. I’ve even found myself trying to avoid the Dread Pirate!

Here’s the thing, It’s all a matter of perspective! If you are truly comfortable with oneself, having some alone time, or not seeing someone seriously should not be an issue. If you have to hide part of who you are, you shouldn’t be dating that person. In the end, we aren’t guaranteed any tomorrow’s, so why are we afraid of them? 

We all need to spend more time loving ourselves, becoming better people and better versions of us. And less time settling or hiding out of fear.  

Inference

How do you interpret data that has no context? We of course filterpret everything through our personal construct. But what happens when the crate has no records? 

Well of course your brain still tries to fill the  gaps! But should you let it? Can you trust that whatever hodge-podge of experiences your subconscioushas pulled   together as relevant, as appropriate and will lead you on a satisfactory path?

As I’m going through this exact conundrum a lot recently, I can share I don’t trust the answers my “primal” brain is giving. Yet, I grasp for the certainty those biased answers afford; because it’s very uncomfortable to have to react (since no reaction is still a decision) with absolutely no experience to draw from.

In the end, I’d rather flounder and grasp for cohesive flakes in a snow storm, than accept my brains random inferences of meaning. I like thinking my slower cognitive mind is discovering new meaning, instead of my “faster” core processor pulling meaning out of thin air!  One can only hope that those who are wittingly and unwittingly walking the path with me are patient. 

Emotion Twofer

My friend shared the image below in Facebook the other day. I found the share to be rather timely as I’ve been working through the interconnection of Happiness, Fear and Sadness.

I had a stark reminder that sometimes moments, and extended periods, of happiness can also elicit fear and sadness. I found myself spending far too much time contemplating this oddity and why it occurs. I had already begun the process of “flow-thru” as I call it, when I saw this post, which helped me finish the process and let go.

When we fight to push away or hold onto an emotion, we forget that they are natural and don’t need to be “dealt with” and aren’t meant to last forever. Inside Out the movie is a great attenpt at teaching younger children this concept. As adults we can emulate the concept shared below, and remember we will fail and we will get better with practice. 

I leave you with the song I was thinking of on this Topic for Diggin in the Crates, Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith.  

 


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