Posts Tagged 'Negativity'

The Darkness

Just finished reading the Tale of Despereaux with my children. I was struck (who can avoid it with the point being bludgeoned over the head of the dear reader) by the necessity of the story. How often do we have our own struggle for with darkness so starkly revealed? Is this not why we are so crazy for Star Wars and Super Heroes (among other reasons)?

We know that negativity, bad memories, negative experiences, fear and hate to be more powerful in our brains. Yet, science also teaches us that positivity and happiness are more powerful. This is why tools like taking in the good and holding on to our good experiences just a few seconds longer, are life changers.

Today I saw a woman who literally, spent her whole shopping trip berating her child and the people shopping with her. Making everything out to be their fault and just making the experience an overall painful time for anyone near them. The cherry on top of her hateful day, was cursing at an employee who came over to help with a scanning problem. This woman is a prime example of someone who deserves our empathy, but who also clearly need to desperately work on her struggle with the darkness inside.

The employee she yelled and cursed at, appears to fall on the other side of this line of human interaction. After being cursed at, she not only continued to go about her job, she did it with a smile on her face.

So dear reader, I ask you, which of these human beings would you rather be on any given day? And if the answer is the latter, what are you doing about it? Are you working to keep the darkness that exists at bay? To not allow new darkness and hate inside? And to try and replace all that negativity with strong memories of love, happiness and good?

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Negativity

When is someone being negative versus when are they venting?

When are you being negative versus when you are noticing incongruities?

When do the two mix?

I’ve blogged many of times about how we react and interact with the world and those around us is a product of how we perceive reality. When we’re negative we tend to view other inputs negatively, when we are positive, we tend to view other inputs positively.

Today I want to solely focus on the perception of negativity.

I’ve found it to be am worthwhile pursuit to be cognizant of when we are reacting to others negativity and vice versa. I know sometimes people are indeed being negative, but they aren’t meaning anything by it. I do the same. I also know sometimes being honest and clearly recognizing bullshit for bullshit can be viewed as negativity, yet is necessary and relevant. However, sometimes people are just giving off bad vibes, me included. 

It makes me think about how do we recognize when negativity is a necessary part of a process and when it’s not? How do we Filterpret through when others react to is and say we are being negative, yet we don’t feel we out message is negative.

The best I’ve come up with is to deal with each situation individually and make sure I’m aware of how others are reacting to me and how I am reacting to them. I know going to either extreme is unhealthy. We can’t seep ourselves in that side of the force, or it permeates everything we do. We also can’t act like it doesn’t exist and has no place in our lives. 

In the end, empathy, paying attention to how we are responding and being responded to, and recognizing each person as unique is what I have to share on this tricky yet fascinating set of questions. 


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